Monday, November 19, 2012

Who else is this?

^^about the title: some guy answered his phone by saying that. For real.
Courtney, Sophie, and I went to Vegas a couple weekends ago! So fun. According to rules about Vegas, I am not allowed to share a whole lot....as the saying goes. But I will share that we spent our entire Saturday watching "Too Cute: Puppies" followed by "Too Cute: Sloths". Really...sloths and they discussed a sloth party that was about to happen. Sophie took a picture of Courtney and I still laying in bed at 5pm and titled it something along the lines of a sloth rager. Because really, us laying in our beds watching tv was about as much movement as what happens at a sloth rager. We also met a fairly famous DJ without even knowing it. And Sophie was not as good at poker as she had originally suspected she would be. I will also share that on the plane Courtney said to me: You should date a pilot. My response, "cause they're gone all the time?" Um...no...cause you get free flights. Duh.
I haven't had too many bus adventures with people lately. I feel like the N isn't as crazy as the 71, which runs down Haight. Crazy things happen on Haight street. I walked down there once looking for hand drawn signs for a school assignment. There were two men talking and one was on his way out so the other guy said, "have a good day!" so the man replied, "thanks." Then he said, "Not you, her!" and pointed to me. I said, "thanks" and kept walking. Then he YELLED at me: Hey! Get back here and talk to me! It took everything for me not to literally run. Which is typically my MO.
I went to a bar last weekend in North Beach with Matt and some of his friends. It was a fun night. Then I turned around and witnessed a man lifting his shirt and his two friends (one guy and one girl) started to rub his belly. No joke. Such a weird moment at the bar....
I heard this gem from someone walking by my house: The best honey I ever tasted was honey that bees made.
I thought I should share some interesting notes from the wild world of online dating as well. Sheer entertainment. Nothing too crazy. But here is this one:
. Ok, I admit it. I like your style and I think we might well be the two coolest people out here! We should totally take advantage of it, and elope to Tibet, spend a kick ass year in Shangri La and live happily ever after, throwing money in trash and partying like Charlie Sheen. I have this whole thing planned out, so all you have to do is sit by the pool, drink margaritas and get oiled up by hot pool boys all day while I go on my mountaineering expeditions. So I'm really banking on you to say yes to this or I'm going to have to just find Liya Kebede and I don't think the plan will turn out as well. :) 
Hopefully he doesn't find me and see this. But really...seems extreme. And yes, he did start the paragraph with a period.
Until next time. Happy Thanksgiving!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Bekah's Beats

It has really been far too long since I blogged. I can't go this long, way too much to tell! I am gonna start with a new sub-section called "Adventures on the N Judah". (The N Judah is the bus I take to get downtown.)
Adventures on the N Judah
I ride this bus often and I am sure that I don't remember everything. But some hi-lights include:
- One guy who was getting on the bus at a stop a couple away from mine and jumped on right at the last minute...leaving his girlfriend on the platform. Whoops! It was obvious she wasn't thrilled and I don't blame her. 
- I've seen a couple people who get annoyed with the crowds on the bus during rush hour. I would suggest they hang out downtown for a bit before getting on the bus if you're gonna start fights. One dude like accidentally stepped on some other guy and the guy wigged out. Started yelling at him and it turned into a big verbal battle. Scary! 
- So I took Allie down to the Embarcadero one day and had to take her on the bus. She totally freaked out. Especially cause we go through a couple tunnels. She was shaking the whole way. But LOVED being back over there. Sometimes I think she misses the old hood. Anyway, the way back I stuck her in my school bag and some woman saw her and came over to say hi. She said that Allie looks like her dog, Eddie. And showed me a pic, sure enough, they do look just alike! We get on the bus and she tells me about her son and her dogs. Mainly her dogs. She has two yorkies, Eddie and Isabel. She told me about her Christmas card with them and I was reminded of my Christmas card last year...she was the crazy cat lady but with her dogs...please don't let me turn into her. Sort of related - Allie is gonna be a chicken for Halloween. Super excited. Not a good sign for me....

Okay back to other stories. My friend Courtney and I have had a few adventures together. One of which involved a place called Smuggler's Cove. We went there to meet my friend, Matt. And this guy came over to us and tried to guess our names, he guessed Melissa for Courtney and Janice for me. So I decided to spend the rest of the conversation only replying with Mean Girls quotes, whether they applied or not. And then he drunkenly knocked over Courtney's drink - which would be one thing if it was a $3 beer but it was like a $10 cocktail. And then I said something like, "aren't you gonna replace that?" and his response was, "Wow, you really are a mean girl." Uhhhh....thankfully the bartender was awesome and witnessed the whole thing so he made her a new drink. 
Next weekend Courtney, Sophie, and I are going to Vegas. I'd say I'll have a lot of stories, but am I allowed to share them? I don't even know! 
This past weekend my friend, Tim came up from San Diego and we went to the Bridge School Festival. So fun!!! The first day we had lawn seats and we managed to squeeze our way in this tiny space up against some dude's chair and in front of a big loud group. There was a big walkway a couple groups over but people were drunk and stumbling through us anyway. One guy full on stepped on Tim's legs and he yells, "THAT'S ME! I'M A HUMAN!" Too funny, who yells that they are human? Only Tim! I'm pretty sure that happened during some depressing song that I laughed all the way through. The next day we had actual seats, which were amazing. Foster the People were incredible all acoustic. So great. And Tim has a man crush on Ray LaMontagne (He wont be mad at me for posting that, he told like everyone that Ray was, "All hot and homeless looking.") So anyway, day 2, Sarah McLachlan is on, she's playing depressing songs on the piano, amazing but depressing. The woman in front of us in a green fur-like coat and black beanie, was super stoked on Sarah M. The set ends, and this woman stands up, holds her churro in the air, and spins it around. As churros do, it breaks apart hitting people around her. She is left with a little in her hand so she throws it and it hits some man. Hilarious. She laughed (and so did I) for a LONG time after. Guns 'n Roses played - so my old neighbors are super jealous and don't even know it. One more funny Tim story - but I wasn't present for this one. Still funny. Tim's brother and his family live up here and on Monday he was baby sitting his 3 year old niece. I guess the mom is a science teacher and so they watch a lot of educational shows and the one on Monday was about bananas. Tim fell asleep during the show, real good baby sitter, and she got up and went into the kitchen, got a banana, threw it at Tim and it hit him in the face. They did not pick up the banana and when her mom got home she tells her, "I threw a decaying banana at uncle Tim's face!" Such a smart 3 year old! 
You're probably over reading this. I'll write shorter blogs and more often from now on!
 

Thursday, September 13, 2012

A fresh start

It's time for a name change for my blog. I recently moved out of the TL! I am going to continue to blog because weird things happen to me on a daily basis regardless of where I live. For example, I was out today and some man, clearly visiting SF, was in his car and started yelling questions at me. First he asked, where's your backyard? Then, How do you live here, the houses are so close together? (They are literally touching, it's actually a quite picturesque neighborhood, here's a photo).

Then he told me he wasn't from here. As if that wasn't obvious...but I digress...
Over the summer I went home for a bit. And I had been home for a couple weeks when I got a text from my resident manager, also my next door neighbor, saying that my door was ajar. He asked for permission to enter and when he did, you can imagine what he found. Or maybe you can't, it was that bad. Everything in my apartment was in disarray, LOTS of things were missing, and well...my bed had been "slept" in. My mom and I flew out and with the help of some pretty wonderful friends (Tony and Sophie) I was able to pack everything up, break my lease (after threatening a lawsuit), find a new apartment, and got outta dodge. So now I am in a whole new part of town where there are kids playing soccer, Golden Gate Park is like 2 blocks away, and I can actually go outside without having to cross a soup kitchen line. It's a whole new world and a fresh start! Looking forward to what the next few months..or years...have in store for me. So stay tuned. Goodnight, America.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Jack for President

I know..I haven't written anything in awhile. Just recovering from the semester. I guess I'll just jump right in: here's a good one. Allie had done her business one day and I was cleaning it up when an older man thanked me for cleaning it. He asked if I lived nearby and how I felt about people around here with big dogs. Then he asked where I'm from and when I said San Diego he asked if I wear flip flops all the time down there. So I said yeah, I guess. And he asked if I ever saw any calendars with girls in bikinis. Again, yeah, I guess. Then said he always thought a good calendar would be just pictures of girl's feet instead. And asked if I would be a foot model for him and said he'd pay me. Of all the people, in all the world to ask, he asks me...the one with purple feet. I responded with, I'm pretty sure you don't want pictures of my feet - they're purple. He said, just think about it.  That's gonna have to be a no.
Tonight I was walking to a tasting event for different restaurants and I was sort of dressed up. I mean, normal for what I would wear to an event. But kinda dressy. Well this crazy black man was talking to himself and then turns to me and says, "I wish I were just like you." Which reminded me of when Chris was here and he told me to "turn into him" and I laughed and said, "yeah, I'm gonna grow a foot and turn into a man." His response: "no, you fool." Cause really. He just wanted me to turn toward him. Haha.
Last weekend I went to the North Beach festival and afterward, my friend Allie and I were sitting on a bench and were joined by two very drunk men. One was hilarious! He says, "I've been meaning to tell you guys since I first saw you. You're both just sooo ugly." He later asked an Asian man who couldn't understand him why he wouldn't look at the sunset and if he was a vampire. We got that on video. We asked what he did and he said he "wasn't a pilot. He was a non-pilot, but not a stewardess. But he would be a stewardess today if we wanted something." Okayy buddy. So finally we say we have to go and when we stand up I turn to the guy who barely said anything except that his name was Gino and I said, "Gino, we're the same height. That is neat." It's from Orange County. He didn't get it either and got kinda mad at me. But we were the same height and it was neat.
A final quote of the night is from a man walking by me on the street:
"Now I know why Elvis said he was all shook up."

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Finals Week!

Eeek - I have SO many projects due on Monday!! A couple notable things have gone on lately. The first being that I must look like a local these days, 3 people asked me for directions the other day. Yep, three - in ONE walk home (almost a mile). This is neat: I went to a show on Friday and met a girl from San Diego and she was there with some dude and we were chatting and then I left. And I went out with a friend who I haven't seen in FOREVER who was in town from Phoenix, so great seeing him. But I've digressed...On Saturday I went to a (mansion) party for Cinco de Mayo. And some chick hit a pinata so there was candy all over the ground. Then this dude walks by and we start talking about it and chatting for about five minutes until he says, "wait, what did you do last night?" Yep - he was the guy at the show with the girl from SD. Such a small world.
I've been holed up in my apartment doing final projects for DAYS and then last night I went to a concert. I needed to take a cab there (cause I haven't learned the bus system yet, this summer I am gonna get on that). On O'Farrell there are usually a bunch of cabs so I walk up there and am waiting on the corner for one to pass and a crazy broad walking across the street (note, there is police action happening behind her) says to me, "You better go save his daughter and I don't mean the one you killed at the penitentiary. Ya na mean?" I don't know what she means, no. However, I about died laughing. She was waving her arms all crazy-like. Never a dull moment.
Dad - so good to see you yesterday!

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Lucky Stone

Where I live, I just expect to meet crazies and creepers. It's just what happens in the TL and it is something I have come to anticipate upon leaving my apartment. And pretty much my whole life (at least from the time I started going out to bars, but most likely before that...) if I went out somewhere and there was a creepy guy in a bar - he would find me. I'm a nice person so I don't act rude or mean to these men and they think they stand a chance and the night usually ends with me planning an escape route. But because I am faced with crazy everyday now, I tend to forget that there are creepers outside the TL. Most of the people I have met out while here have been so great. They are friendly and welcoming. They hear I am new and introduce me to everyone they know and invite me to do fun random things. So last night, I went to a going away party/bar crawl with a guy I met a few weeks ago who did just that, introduced me to everyone he knows before he moves to Seattle. We ended up at a karaoke bar and I was sitting at a table behind the group. Along rolls the creeper (usually they are older and creepy, this guy was young but well on his way to be the creepy old man someday). The conversation went like this:
Creeper: Where are you from?
Me: San Diego
Creeper: What brings you here?
Me: School.
Creeper: This is awkward...
Me: Why?
Creeper: Because I feel really uncomfortable talking to you because you're in school and I didn't go to school.
Me: School isn't for everyone.
Creeper: I make a lot of money though and work underground.
Me: Cool.
Creeper: Guess how old I am.
Me: 24
Creeper: Wow, good guess. I'm 23. How old are you?
Me: Ummm...27.
Creeper: You're 7?
Me: Yes. 
Then the bar closed and we all walked outside and I sort of hid myself in the mix of the group. But we get outside and he finds me. Our second conversation:
Creeper: Have you ever traveled outside the US?
Me: Yeah, I went to Spain and some other parts of Europe, Costa, Chile.
Creeper: Did you go to Ireland?
Me: No, but I definitely want to some day.
Creeper: Oh, well I went and I got this stone and it's my lucky stone. I carry it everyday. I want you to have it.
Me: Are you sure?
Creeper: Yeah, just promise you'll take care of it.
Me: I promise.
Creeper: K. Good.
It's actually a pretty cool stone, so one of two things is happening this morning. Either he has a collection of stones and that's his line. Or he was blackout drunk, didn't know what he was doing and is now frantically searching for his lucky stone from Ireland which he wont find cause it is currently in my possession.
He proceeded to follow us to get food and tell me I look like someone he knows and while he was in line we left to go home for the night.
So that was neat.
Also, I failed to mention in previous posts that there is a man who chills on the corner and yells everyday at me: I WANT THAT DOG. and I yell back: I KNOW.
Kbyeee.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Make Over

Ugh - Blogger re-did their site...I am sort of like my dad in that I like what I like and that includes this site changing...
Anyway, I started at the gym by my school in the last couple weeks. It adds a whole new level of crazy that I get to experience. Day one, I show up ready to go and they are remodeling the gym...so my re-do day one I started boxing and it was great. Then on day two I overheard some dude say that he almost made it to third base with some girl over the weekend. And apparently, (I haven't seen this yet) but there is some guy who has very outlandish workout moves where he slaps the punching bags and lifts his arms up in the air. My trainer called it the, "dude, what's up?!" Looking forward to seeing it.
The other morning I walked out and asked what my dog's name is and I said, Allie. His response: Oh, tell him I said good morning. How many boys do you know named Allie?? Then we walked in and I walked out a few minutes later eating an english muffin and some man says, "I'll have a bite of that." And when I kept walking, he yelled after me: You know you liked that!
On an unrelated sidenote, my bed is up on a loft and there is a piece of wall that sticks out that I managed to hit the back of my head on while sleeping on Tuesday morning. I've had a headache ever since and Tuesday was pretty much a blur.
If you're ever in SF and wanna check out a really sweet bar, go to Gold Dust Lounge on Powell. 

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Back from Break

Well, I should be finishing my 9 page paper right now...it can wait a few minutes, I suppose. Before I left for spring break I was out walking around (searching for a carrying case for Allie cause the one I ordered online didn't arrive) and this "blind" man was walking toward me. So I moved to the side closer to the buildings and the man sticks his elbow out and full on elbows me in the arm, no way was he blind. He would not have been able to hit me if he were. I tried to dodge it - like I tried to dodge the man missing fingers who reached out to me one day. But I actually said, "don't touch me" to that guy. Gross....get your fingerless hand away from me. I had warning for that guy though, he tried to touch the girl in front of me too. "Blind" man - no warning, just a bruised bicep.
I was told again that Allie is shiny. I don't know why men feel the need to tell me that. Using my dog as a pick up line isn't exactly gonna make me say, "Oh, thank you, sir, let's run away together!" At least, it hasn't yet...time will tell.
Okay, back to paper writing. I just wanted to share a little bit. Now that I am back up here and it's almost summer I can only imagine the stories I will have for you all!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Distraction

Rather than working on my typography homework I have decided to blog for a bit. I was out a couple days ago, at about 11am (this is key to the story) and a VERY drunk man (see why 11am is key) walked over and commented on Allie and how shiny she is - she just got groomed and looks sooo precious. I said thanks, as usual, and then he said he liked my orange coat and how festive it was cause he grew up here. And he went on and on about a bunch of other things as he walked away. Then in the middle of the street he turns around and says, watch me get hit by a car and proceeded to act out what it would look like if that happened...including falling on the ground. So I just said be careful and went back inside.
I'm sure you're all wondering what I have been doing while in school and I will eventually post some things. We don't finish all the projects until the end of the semester and I don't want to "show off" unfinished work. So in a few weeks I will be able to publish some of my work on here. It's been a demanding semester and I am excited for SPRING BREAK which starts tomorrow! Wahoo!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Sweet Offerings

A few little things before bed...
The other day I was coming home from school and I was having a rough mid-semester breakdown sorta day. And so I put my head down and stormed home. Right before I hit Jones (my street) a man says to me: "where you going, baby? Let me take you home with me, I'll take care of you." Will you?? It took everything inside of me not to be like: you can't even take care of yourself!!! But I just kept walking.
Then today some other homeless man asked if I needed a ride somewhere and that he'd drive me anywhere I needed to go...in what car, I wonder. I love how they all make me these offers like they can follow through with them. At least they think positively. Unlike the lady that called Allie "ankle piranha". So rude. But sorta true. :/
I don't know if I've mentioned how wonderful the people in the building next to me are - but they are just really great. I absolutely love how they throw their trash into the easement and now raccoons have taken up residence there. It's a raccoon heaven back there. So unsanitary. And they BLAST music 24/7. I finally filed a noise complaint with the police and it was quiet for a solid week. Then back on last night extremely loud. It's shockingly quiet now so I should try to fall asleep while I have the chance!

Thursday, March 22, 2012

WIND

Umm....why is it SO windy here? Like crazy gusts of wind that come whipping down the streets. I'm really not used to it...And I went to a show at the Fillmore (amazing show and venue) on Monday night. And the air was on and it was even windy in there! Seriously, it's everywhere. They love wind up here, I guess. How on earth do they all keep their hair looking good. Cause by the time I got home today I had total Monica-hair. (You know, in FRIENDS when they go to Barbados...look it up.)
Yesterday, I was told by some woman walking with some man that I didn't look like I belonged on this street...uh, what gave it away? The fact that I showered, was in clean clothes, wasn't smoking crystal...who knows. I'd say I fit right in.
Here's a quality story from Saturday. It was St. Patrick's day ("St. Party's day" as my phone said, but also was accurate.) My friend, Laura from college was visiting for the weekend and we started our day at 3pm in the sideways rain, cause of the wind the umbrella didn't matter. We get to a pub down the street and hang out there for a bit and then moved onto another bar closer to my house. And we met up with some other college friends and some of their friends there. I was in communication with a new friend from school, Natasha, and trying to get her to come out with us. She finally finished her work and agreed. I told her we were at Jenson's on O'Farrell and Jones. I tell her out loud and via text. We're about to leave and I can't figure out why she can't find the place, I give great directions...yep, they would have been great if they were right at all. Jasper's. Mason and O'Farrell. I'm awesome. But she made it and we had a great time! And on Monday morning I was still a mess of a human being. That's how you know it was a good st.party's day.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Quick Note

This was a very interesting morning. Three things happened within 30 minutes of me getting out of bed.
1. A very large toothless, homeless, black man asked if he could take me to lunch today. We then headed over to the soup kitchen to enjoy a lovely meal together...um, no. Where would he really have taken me, I wonder?? I'm sure he could have thought I was homeless as I was wearing plaid teal rain boots, navy Padres sweatpants, a brown hoodie with the hood up cause it was raining, my hair was a mess, and no make-up. So pretty much lookin' my best.
2. As this was happening some woman bent down to pet Allie and she started barking. And the woman stands up and says, "Oh, I must still have coke on my hand."
3. Then I was walking back and some man started yelling at me asking for money and I said no and he just kept yelling. "Luckily" the man who asked me to lunch was still walking with me and yelling man walked off.
Hopefully, I don't run into any of them again.
The other night was beautiful, I took a picture:

Sunday, March 11, 2012

20/20

Let me start by asking this question: How on Earth did the man on the street watch 20/20 last night?? For reals. He says to me, "Did you see 20/20 last night?" Ummm, no. "Oh, it was about rich people and their dogs and how they dye their fur and stuff. Really interesting."
Was it? Really? How did YOU watch it?? Anyway, it's currently on on my iPad...Thanks ABC app.
As usual, interesting things happen when I go out with Elyse. We were in the Mission district last night and were walking from 24th street to 18th street to go from the restaurant to a bar and some guy sitting outside his garage around 19th says, "I just saw you on 24th - you walk fast." Creepyyy. Not really sure what he was expecting to get from that comment.
Some more interesting comments / conversations from the street:
1. *woman practically running* Yelling: You can talk to me if you can keep up with me.
Man: I'm 68 years old - you think I'm gonna run up this street to keep up with you? There's no way! Screw you!
2. Man (with his fingers in the shape of a gun pointed at little Allie girl): I'll throw you in the street.
3. Woman telling me Allie would put Toto to shame. She absolutely LOVED Allie.

BTW - these people on 20/20 are legit crazy when it comes to their dogs. And now this dude about his lizard - he changed his name.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

If you ain't chillin, then we ain't kickin it.

Most of my stories start this way (and so does this one): Today, when I was out walking Allie...
There was this woman sitting on the ground leaning up against a building and I've seen her before but never really said anything. But today, she said, "I like your dog." I responded, "Thanks!" I really should have just kept walking....cause then she says, "my sister has a dog and you know what she calls it?" Me: "no, what?" Woman: "my mom and dad have both been married twice and then ended up back together and they are in Hawaii now and my sister is married to a rich man and they live in New Mexico and have a big house and I'm here smoking on the street, she has everything that was my dad's she got it all and my dad was left with shit and then she got two teeth pulled and had fangs put in and she's down there in Danville and I'm a (some word I couldn't understand). I am part Italian, Native American, and who knows what else. She is there is f-ing Danville with her f-ing rich husband in their big house and all my dad's stuff. I see what goes on on this street and I never say anything. What they do is their business. I could place a citizens arrest but I don't do it. Like what you do with your dog is your business and what they do is theirs. I'm not gonna mess with them. That's why there are cameras everywhere. They'll come after you. Do you have a dollar?" Uhhh....no.
I'm sure she said a lot more, it was a lot to process. And I never found out what her sister calls her dog. :(
One the way back I took an extra loop around the block in hopes she would be gone but to no avail. Also, when crazies call you "little mama" and you don't respond they get annoyed. I didn't know that was my name. Once I realized it they asked if I had a boyfriend. Yes, he lives on the corner of Mason and Ellis, kthanksbye.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Fray


I went to my first concert up here on Monday! It was so incredible. I saw The Fray at Fox Theater in Oakland - an amazing venue if you are ever in the area and wanting to see a show.
I got the show slightly early and met an awesome couple. The woman gave me some great tips on places to go by myself where I would feel comfortable and meet some great people. All in all the show was a success, The Fray was so wonderful, I've had them on since the show!
Back to the crazy that is the TL...I was out the other day and there were two women walking together and one stopped to tie her shoe. She was...in the middle of the road....so the other woman says, "You can't tie your shoe right there!". The shoe-tie-er responds, "I don't give a damn." To which, the woman says, "You don't have a damn to give!" I had to walk away quickly cause I was laughing.
So yesterday, Billy and I went to go take pictures, go to a candy store, and then out for Taco Tuesday (I know, the makings of a great day!) And we decided to make the day even better by adding in some frozen yogurt. Straight glory. We were sitting in the fro-yo shop and this couple walked in and the woman turns to the man working and asks him what the flavor "original tart" tastes like...Well, I'm pretty sure it tastes like plain yogurt...not only that but there were sample cups almost touching her hand. Maybe it was her first time in a fro-yo shop. I wanted to advise her just to get the cookies-n-cream cause we all know that's the best. But they just left. Their loss - that fro-yo was the best I've had here. Speaking of dairy products, I also went to a wonderful old fashion ice cream shop over the weekend. It was fantastic. Totally worth the car ride with a Christmas tree on my lap. I'm gonna leave that as is and let your imagination fill in those blanks. Andddd I just realized my laundry is still in the dryer downstairs. So that's all for tonight! Sweet dreams everyone!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Fruit of the Loin

Believe it or not, I am making some real friends out here, not just crazy bum friends. And I was telling my new friend, Billy, about this blog. I said I called it "Life in the TL" and he recommended "The Fruit of the Loin." I am considering the change...too funny.
Usually, when I am out and something funny happens I note it in my phone. Unfortunately, that means that sometimes I can't remember everything that goes along with a quote. This is one of those cases and it's too bad because this quote is hilarious. I have written in my phone, "Don't waste your youth and beauty on your dog, B!tch" Again, wish I had a story for you.
On to things that I do remember. Last Friday, my school hosted a happy hour and I got there and got a weird vibe from the crowd so I sat at the bar and was chatting with the bartender when a slightly older man came over and asked if I wanted to try his beer. Uhhh...the bartender said he bets that happens all the time and I said that usually they are creepier. Right when finishing this sentence a superrr creepy guy comes over and attempts to strike up a conversation with me by saying, "you know, girls get beer bellies too." Even the bartender wrote that one down. He proceeded to ask me if I had eaten and then to tell me that I must be lonely. Thank goodness some friends showed up right after this. I was also told over the weekend that I look old, but of course he meant it as a compliment....I just don't know how that could ever be seen as a compliment. Nice effort gentlemen of the Bay Area!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Cry for help

I try to keep this lighthearted and see the good in living here. But the other night I was truly terrified. I haven't ever really felt scared being here and I personally didn't feel threatened but still...it was a scary night. It was about 1am and I was getting ready for bed when I heard what I thought was my upstairs neighbor (sometimes he walks really heavy or it sounds like he is working out and so I kinda thought it was that...but it was 1am...) And then I heard some man scream, "HELP ME". There was more rustling around and banging on walls and another: SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME! This repeated one more time before I heard my resident manager's voice saying that he had called the police and they were on the way. A little bit later I heard the police come in and escort the man out. I still have no idea what happened to the man but obviously something horrible if he was yelling for his life. Aside from horror films, I've never heard anyone so scared and yelling for help like that. So if you're the praying type - he could probably use a couple of your prayers. Poor fella.
On a lighter note, I was out the other night and met a group of people in town for a convention and we were walking from one bar to another and apparently, I told them, "Don't worry about the homeless people, you just have to nudge them to make sure they're still alive."
I'm classy, what can I say?

Monday, February 6, 2012

New Boyfriend!

Don't worry, Mom and Dad...I met a great guy here in SF. He tall (sorta), dark, and...umm...well, I'm gonna be honest - not so handsome. He lives on the corner of Ellis and Mason, literally, on the corner. He likes to smoke two cigarettes at a time and has dreadlocks (probably not on purpose but most likely because of years without a shower). He looks about 50. And he offered to be my boyfriend yesterday. Seems like a good offer, right parents? No? Okay, well good thing I laughed at him...probably not nice of me. He told me he was serious and I told him that I believed it. So actually, I don't have a new boyfriend - but I'm sure if I ventured down to that corner I could track him down. Odds are I'll go down Cyril Magnin from now on...

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Drums

I'm writing this from bed because I was about to fall asleep when the sounds of drums came blaring into my apartment. Shortly after the drums started the tambourine joined and a keyboard. It sounds like they must be on the street playing and I can tell you now, my upstairs neighbor is not thrilled. The drumming began about 10 minutes ago and now it sounds as though the authorities are here - not a bad response time for a noise violation.
While I'm writing I might as well fill you in on my night. I attended a fund raising event at a bar with my friend Elyse. The bar was hot and far too crowded to move so we left early to grab dinner. On our walk, literally around the corner, we overheard 3 amazing conversations. (side note: more police just showed up) the first conversation we only heard this: "on the plus side, it's gonna be the largest collection of clean vaginas I've ever seen." I mean...good for that guy, I guess. (Tambourine) The second phrase we overheard was simple three words: "huge douchebag factory". I can only assume they were referring to the fund raiser we were just at considering it was the only place around. I can tell you where it is if you wanna go to a huge douchebag factory. And finally, and this was a very serious conversation clearly being help by intellectuals: "Gaelic has nothing to do with being gay, it's totally different." Well, thank you for clearing that up kind sir. (Tambourine and singing.) Then we arrived at Brandy Ho's which has "Absolutely no MSG" and LOTS of spelling errors on their menu. On the walk home I was told by a man on my street that if I needed an escort he'd be happy to walk me home and that he's got my back and won't let anything happen to me. I said I was good and thanked him for the protection.
I'm gonna end this post (and then put my earplugs in again) by telling you how funny I am. My first week here my friend Matt invited me to a foursquare party, for those of you who think I went and played handball, I got gyped, there was no handball...it was a party with people who work for the company, foursquare. Anyway, we got on the subject of MC Hammer, little did I know he's a big deal in the tech world...much later in the night we were talking about how online, Matt is known as "MG"...and so it began... MG Hammer. Clever, I know. Naturally, I changed his name in my phone to MG Hammer and now every time he texts I chuckle about how funny I am, even in public. (another person joined in the singing - they probably shouldn't have - yikes)
Goodnight! (Flute)

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

TL Joy

Oh the joys! It's 9:45PM and I need to take Allie out before bed and I know she needs to go out...but I'm in here waiting because I just heard some man yell, "Whore, fight back!" As amazing as that may be to witness, I'm gonna wait and let them work out their business before letting Allie do hers.
Another exciting moment came today when I was out for a stroll and a man asked me if I walk my dog everyday. I was cautious to answer because I don't need anyone really knowing my routine but thought about it and finally just answered with, "yeah". His response: When you gonna walk me?
Classic.
And our singing friend was back yesterday. "Pretty woman, walking up the hill."
I also failed to mention that I witnessed my first public urination this weekend - it was superrr awkward cause we made eye contact and it was like "yeah, I know what you're doing" "yeah, I'm peeing on this gate". And I continued on my way, where else is he gonna go, I guess.
It's quieted down out there - or the sounds of the 10PM nightly trash pickup has drowned out the sound of the crazies fighting, regardless, I'm gonna go brave it.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Weekend in the TL

"It's a big day everyone! Here she is at Walgreens. Doing her shopping. Big day."
Thank you, sir, for announcing my arrival to buy water and earplugs. Earplugs that I apparently should have put in immediately. Or at least last night when I got no sleep cause apparently the TL doesn't sleep on Saturday nights...I won't make that mistake again.
Another noteworthy comment came from Giovanni at a bar on Friday night. He approached my friend, Elyse, and me with the smooth line of, "hey girls, I mean women, I wanna be sexuality correct." hmmm...fail. Guys, in case you were wondering, that doesn't work. He also asked what "nationality" Elyse is and was unsatisfied when she said "American". Then she explained to him that nationality meant what nation are you from and she is from America. Later he got in a slap fight with some guy.
And finally, the guy who sang that he's been waiting for a girl like me said to me that he "told people about me." Let's hope it's just the people in his head that he talked to. My mom said at least if I have no one to talk to here its okay to talk to myself. Cause why not, everyone else does.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Breakfast at Tiffany's

This morning, I walked out of my building to a rather provocatively dressed woman (I'll let you make assumptions about her profession) who Allie actually really liked. She told me her name was Tiffany and she had a little dog too. And then she took out her phone and showed me pictures of the smallest little Chihuahua puppy ever, it seriously looked like it was born yesterday. So we part ways and I walk one direction and she walks another with some Asian man. Well, guess who I see around the block, Tiffany. And guess who doesn't remember me....Tiffany.

My first few days...

I have had some interesting experiences over the past few days and wanted to document and share them. And be able to share future events as well.

Let's see:

Day 1: A very creepy man approached me and asked if I wanted to "buy some crystal" as I stood with my dad waiting to get my keys. Great first impression.

Day 2: We witnessed a woman beating not only some dude but also the dude's car and then sometime later some other dude. That's the most aggression I've seen out of anyone here.

Day 3: I was serenaded twice. The first started by telling me that there is no way I look the way I do when I wake up in the morning and then proceeded to sing, "I've been waiting for a girl like you." The second guy sang from the middle of the road a clever take on Whomp There it is by changing the "it" to "she", Whomp There She Is. Not only did those things happen but as I was walking Allie a man said to me, "I'll get you my pretty and your little dog too." After which I pretty much ran into my building.

I am sure this is just the beginning to a very eventful year in the TL.