Thursday, June 7, 2012

Jack for President

I know..I haven't written anything in awhile. Just recovering from the semester. I guess I'll just jump right in: here's a good one. Allie had done her business one day and I was cleaning it up when an older man thanked me for cleaning it. He asked if I lived nearby and how I felt about people around here with big dogs. Then he asked where I'm from and when I said San Diego he asked if I wear flip flops all the time down there. So I said yeah, I guess. And he asked if I ever saw any calendars with girls in bikinis. Again, yeah, I guess. Then said he always thought a good calendar would be just pictures of girl's feet instead. And asked if I would be a foot model for him and said he'd pay me. Of all the people, in all the world to ask, he asks me...the one with purple feet. I responded with, I'm pretty sure you don't want pictures of my feet - they're purple. He said, just think about it.  That's gonna have to be a no.
Tonight I was walking to a tasting event for different restaurants and I was sort of dressed up. I mean, normal for what I would wear to an event. But kinda dressy. Well this crazy black man was talking to himself and then turns to me and says, "I wish I were just like you." Which reminded me of when Chris was here and he told me to "turn into him" and I laughed and said, "yeah, I'm gonna grow a foot and turn into a man." His response: "no, you fool." Cause really. He just wanted me to turn toward him. Haha.
Last weekend I went to the North Beach festival and afterward, my friend Allie and I were sitting on a bench and were joined by two very drunk men. One was hilarious! He says, "I've been meaning to tell you guys since I first saw you. You're both just sooo ugly." He later asked an Asian man who couldn't understand him why he wouldn't look at the sunset and if he was a vampire. We got that on video. We asked what he did and he said he "wasn't a pilot. He was a non-pilot, but not a stewardess. But he would be a stewardess today if we wanted something." Okayy buddy. So finally we say we have to go and when we stand up I turn to the guy who barely said anything except that his name was Gino and I said, "Gino, we're the same height. That is neat." It's from Orange County. He didn't get it either and got kinda mad at me. But we were the same height and it was neat.
A final quote of the night is from a man walking by me on the street:
"Now I know why Elvis said he was all shook up."